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Living Together Across Borders

By October 7, 202474 Comments41 min read5,448 views

How do families care for each when they are divided over generations by powerful geopolitical forces beyond their control? In this episode of the Language on the Move Podcast, I speak with Lynnette Arnold about her new book Living Together Across Borders: Communicative Care in Transnational Salvadoran Families (Oxford University Press, 2024). Lynnette also shares her tips for emerging scholars in the field about how to conduct research in changing and unstable times.

Migration separates families

I am a second generation migrant from my mother’s side. When my grandfather migrated from the former Czechoslovakia to Australia after World War 2, only one member of his immediate family was a fellow survivor, his older brother. The brothers were desperate to get out of war-torn Europe and start a new life, but there was a catch. They weren’t able to go to the same place. While my grandfather received permission to emigrate with his young family to Sydney, his brother received the same from the United States. Despite already losing their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in the war, the brothers were unable to prevent losing each other. After they emigrated, although they wrote letters, and spoke on the phone very rarely, they never saw each other again.

Today in Australia where I live and work, cross-border communication is likely to be by phone, not letter and for the majority of migrants the greatest barrier to seeing family is likely to be economic. Many of the participants I spoke to for my research into mixed language couples living in Sydney frequently spoke to family members by phone, sometimes even daily. This is significantly more affordable now than it was fifty years ago. However, migrant families continue to be separated for many years and often permanently. The border closures during the pandemic were a very difficult period for migrants unable to travel to spend time with family, particularly aging parents and relatives. So how does communication maintain family ties across borders? And how can we as scholars engage with this topic, theoretically, methodologically and ethically?

A theory of communicative care

I was recently lucky enough to speak to Dr Lynnette Arnold about her new book on this topic, Living together across borders: communicative care in transnational Salvadorean families. In the book she describes how communicative care both sustains and resists dominating geo-political forces which maintain continued migration from El Salvador to the United States across multiple generations as solution to meeting the economic needs of the nation.

In the book Arnold details an analytical approach based on the concept of  communicative care. By this she means that the everyday communication which families engage in is an enactment of care, and that this care is “the most fundamental way that transnational families maintain collective intergenerational life in the face of continued, and seemingly endless, separation.” (p.6) She uses the term convivencia or living together, to describe the culturally specific practices she observed in her data collection with transnational Salvadoran families.

I found communicative care a particularly useful lens for examining the links between what are sometimes referred to as local or micro practices and processes and their connection to larger macro processes such as the economic and political systems governing nations. An example of this is the role of communication in maintaining the flow of global remittances which support the Salvadorean economy as well as the individual families. In this sense the book is a powerful tool for researchers who are interested in both a nuanced exploration of language practices in context and in the transformational power of research to speak back to hegemonic forces such as borders, global capitalism and neoliberalism.

Participants as researchers: researchers as participants

This study took a two stage approach to collecting the data. Starting with a lengthy ethnographic study of a village in El Salvador where she lived and worked as a young women, Arnold built up relationships with two transnational families. These families then formed the research participants for the second stage of the study, where four months worth of telephone conversations between migrant and non-migrant family members were recorded.

This stage centred the agency of the participants themselves by training them as data collectors of the recorded phone calls between transnational family members. In the interview, Dr Arnold discusses how she also employed research assistants from El Salvador who recognised the social identities – as well as the language varieties – of the research participants. This facilitated their contributions, both as accurate transcribers of the audio data but also as cultural informants in the data analysis process.

The ethics of working with migrants and language issues

For those of us working in the field of migration and language, how can we behave ethically in a space where there are profoundly unequal power relations, the stakes are high and global tensions continue to bubble around issues of migration, borders and citizenship? This is especially true for scholars like me, who are not first generation migrants themselves and thus speak from a relatively privileged position.

According to Arnold, we can start by asking what is language doing? How does it connect with the relational aspect of people’s lives and the geopolitical contexts they exist in? Thinking critically about the role of language in creating social reality allows us to become informed advocates for linguistic diversity. It enables us to think about issues of access, inclusion and ultimately social justice.

I’ll leave you with one example from the book’s conclusion which I found particularly compelling due to my own research interests into the links between language maintenance in migrant families and second language education. Arnold makes the point that one way we can support transnational families to maintain networks of communicative care is to change existing educational language policy “which all too often functions as a tool of state-sponsored family separation by pushing the children of migrants towards monolingualism in dominant languages like English” (p. 171). Instead of turning bilinguals into monolingual, language in education policy must be guided by what migrant families themselves need, which is the communicative resources to maintain ties across borders. This includes a recognition of the linguistic variety in migrant repertoires, which extend way beyond standard languages.

Reference

Arnold, L. (2024). Living Together Across Borders: Communicative Care in Transnational Salvadoran Families. Oxford University Press.

Related content

Piller, I. (2018). Globalization between crime and piety. Language on the Move. https://www.languageonthemove.com/globalization-crime-piety/
Weiss, F. (2012). Christmas in Nicaragua. Language on the Move. https://www.languageonthemove.com/christmas-in-nicaragua/

Transcript

Hanna Torsh: Welcome to the Language on the move podcast, a channel on the new books network, my name is Hannah Torsh, and I’m a lecturer in linguistics and applied linguistics at Macquarie University, Sydney, Australia. My guest today is Dr. Lynette Arnold, Dr. Lynette Arnold is an assistant Professor of Anthropology at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and we’re going to talk about her new monograph living together across borders, communicative care in Transnational Salvadorian Families published by Oxford University Press. Welcome to the show. Lynette.

Lynnette Arnold: Thank you so much. Hi, everybody! Ola.

Hanna Torsh: Can you start us off by telling us a bit about yourself, and how you got interested in the topic of your book?

Lynnette Arnold: Sure! So my book, Living together across borders, explores how members of transnational families find ways to live together despite being separated across borders. The families I work with are from a small rural village in El Salvador, with migrant relatives living in urban locations across the United States. I am not Salvadoran. I do not have Salvadoran family members. So you might wonder, what is it? How did I get involved in this? And my interest in this topic really emerged from 2 different but interrelated personal experiences.

I spent 5 years living in El Salvador from 2,000 to 2,005 during the years when most people are in college. I was living in El Salvador, and this is a really eye opening experience, because I got to know many young people, my age, who had grown up during the Salvadoran Civil War that happened in the 19 eighties, and in getting to know them I learned a lot about the involvement of the Us. Government in perpetuating this 12 year conflict through immense financial support of the Salvadoran military and training Salvadoran soldiers in brutal, scorched Earth tactics. All of these, the ways that us support had really caused a lot of harm in El Salvador, and that was an eye opening experience for me to realize that this big gaping hole in my education as a Us. Citizen not understanding something so vital about my country’s history and involvement in the world.

So that was one inspiration was really to help my fellow citizens better understand the human impact of us foreign policy. Our involvement in the Salvadoran Civil War was a direct cause of the widespread emigration that El Salvador shows still today. And so that was kind of one piece was recognizing that I hadn’t learned these things and wanting to share them with my fellow citizens.

The second experience was sort of more deeply relational, and it has to do with the ways that the relationships I made in El Salvador continued. When I moved back to the United States to go to college. When I moved to the US. I stayed in contact with people in El Salvador through phone calls, and I suddenly found myself part of this transnational network of folks in El Salvador, their relatives here in the United States, who I had met in El Salvador, but who had since migrated, and I started to get really interested in what was happening in those phone calls and all the kinds of complicated things that people were working out on the phone across borders. At the same time, at that moment in my life I was navigating a kind of growing realization or separation from my own family of origin. I had left at that point permanently left the Christian Commune where I was raised, and where my family still lives, so I have a very different reason for separation. But I was navigating in my own life how to be family with people that I wasn’t living together with. And so, though I juxtaposing those 2 experiences, got me really interested in how people do family at a distance and the role of language? So that was really what brought me then to the topic of the book.

Hanna: That’s so fascinating. And just a quick follow up question. You know you talk about living there, living in this rural village at a time when sort of other people were at college. How was that experience of language learning for you at that age, in this very remote community, especially when we consider today how almost how difficult that experience is to have with the new affordances that we have in terms of technology and the reach of technology.

Lynnette Arnold: That’s such a great question. Yeah. So I went to El Salvador, knowing very little Spanish. I had been raised in a kind of bilingual culture with German. So I had German as kind of a heritage language, not for my family, but from my community growing up and understood a lot of German, but went to El Salvador, so I knew how to be bilingual. I didn’t know Spanish. I took 2 weeks of intensive one-on-one Spanish courses in the capital.

And I told the guy, the instructor like this is what’s going to happen. I’m going out to this rural village by myself for the next 4 months like I need to be able to survive in Spanish, and I had a dictionary, and I had a grammar workbook and then I went out into the village. I knew one other person in the country who spoke English, who I saw maybe twice the entire time that I was there. So it was really immersion. I was living with a family. I was trying to figure out how to, you know, support the English teacher who didn’t really speak English, you know, like all of these things while also learning the language. So I think obviously, having already been bilingual, helped me like my brain, knew how to learn language, knew that, like learning, the grammar was helpful, and that then I could be like, oh, that person just used the subjunctive! That’s what it sounds like in real life, you know. I remember having experiences like that.

I think the other thing that came out of that experience for me was that I was really learning the language and the culture at the same time. So it wasn’t that I was learning these abstract grammatical forms, but I was learning how to communicate in the language as a young woman, so that was the other, like the gendered, and age the fact that I was, you know, a Us. Citizen, a foreigner. All of those things I had to learn how to use Spanish in that very kind of accurate, contextual way. And still to this day, when I speak Spanish, I find myself realizing how much that has influenced the way that I speak Spanish today. People are not familiar with my accent. I have a very Salvadoran accent. The vocabulary that I’m most comfortable with is like about farms, and, you know, growing food and animals and raising children and not, you know, academic things. And I think that experience was certainly also influential in shaping my research trajectory and the project of this book, because it made me think a lot about the really close connection between language and culture and the sort of social work that language does.

Hanna Torsh: Yeah, wonderful. I think a lot of our audience can resonate with that experience of finding their voice in another language, and having to learn how to be an identity in that language, and then perhaps shifting to another space, and having to then relearn how to be in that language.

So moving on to your book in your book, you talk about two really important concepts, and I’m interested in hearing what these mean. I think our audience would like to hear about them, too. So the 1st one is this idea of convivencia, or living together, and the other one is the idea of communicative care. Can you explain what these 2 concepts mean, and how you use them in your research and in the book.

Lynnette Arnold: Sure I’ll start with convivencia, because it’s the title of the book. So convivencia is two words; con together, and vivencia, live, so live together, made into one word in Spanish convivence as a noun form. It can be all these different things. It’s really a flexible word. People use it a lot when talking about social life. In El Salvador in general, it’s just a very high frequency word. Convivio is another related noun, that is a word for a gathering. Many different kinds of gatherings can be called convivios.

So, in addition to using the word convivencia a lot. People also spend a lot of time carving out opportunities for convivencia or living together what we might call at least an American lingo hanging out just spending time. So it’s a very common thing in rural Salvador culture to see people sitting around on the patio, kind of intermittently talking. Maybe somebody is doing some husking of corn or some other kind of work is happening. Children are in or out, in or out but that sort of spending time together, talking, hanging out, not doing a whole lot of anything is a really important part of the culture. Sometimes convivencia happens in more formal ways, like big gatherings for birthdays, or, you know, religious celebrations or things like that. But they can also be much more informal.

So when I this really sort of caught my attention in the context of the book project, because when I talk to members of transnational families both in El Salvador and in the United States. Many of them mentioned that they missed the ways that they used to convier with loved ones. So they missed that kind of living together when they were separated across borders. So I heard that truth coming out over and over in the interviews, but at the same time from my research perspective, I was seeing these families still doing a whole heck of a lot of conviviando. Even if they weren’t in the same place, they were still finding ways to live together. So I knew that from participating in the transnational networks that from sort of a research perspective, convivencia was still happening, but families were telling me that it looked different than it did when they lived together.

And so, as part of the kind of participating in these transnational phone conversations. I really started to realize that my intuition about where a lot of this living together was happening was that it was happening in these phone calls and these transnational conversations were a really crucial way that families were still able to live together when they couldn’t be in the same place. So that’s what really got me into thinking about what’s happening with this communication and communication away as a way of being together, living together when you’re separate.

So that seems like, if we want to put a label on it, we could call that the more Emic framing right the more the way that people in the community would understand what’s happening here. Convivencia is probably the label they would put on it. Communicative care is really my term and is kind of more informed by my theoretical considerations. I’m a scholar of language and communication, and I’m very interested in how language acts in the world and what language does. And at that time I had been thinking a lot about and reading a lot about feminist scholarship around care and feminist scholars, writing about care often describe it and define care as the labor or the work that we do to keep ourselves alive as a species. So it’s the work that allows individual and collective well-being and survival.

And I came to feel that what was happening in the conversations was families doing precisely that work through language? So I decided to come up with this idea of communicative care as a theoretical frame to capture what I what I thought the work was that was happening in the Conversations. I also wanted to label for the fact that I saw that care and communication were entangled in some very complex ways, and so I wanted a framework that could capture all of those different ways of entanglement. So I decided the communicative care would be a capacious way to talk about that.

Hanna: So just for our audience to understand, you have talked about those transnational phone calls. So maybe we could just take a step back and you could just describe the actual data that you work with in this book, so that so that we have a context for that.

Lynnette Arnold: The data that I’m working within the book primarily are recordings of transnational phone calls. So they are dyadic, mostly dyadic conversations between a person in the United States and a person in the El Salvador who are related to one another in some way. I have interviews and other kinds of ethnographic data that I use to sort of triangulate. These were conversations that were recorded over a 4 month  period. So in many cases I could track how something developed over time. The conversations involved, although they were dyadic, many different dyads within the family. So I could track how different dyads talked about different issues.

So that’s when I’m saying that the families are doing a lot of this conivencia, this living together through conversations, I was able to see that in recording, these phone calls and paying really close attention to what exactly they were doing when they were talking to each other on the phone and why they spent all of this, you know, effort, money and time to have these regular phone calls with one another.

So I felt the need for a framework, because I wanted something to capture the different ways that language and care were connected. So it was very clear to me that language is something that makes other kinds of care possible. So think about many kinds of care that we all engage in on, you know, part of our everyday lives. Language is absolutely central to those for these families. The money that immigrants send home is probably the form of care that most people associate with transnational families. That is not possible without communication. There’s a lot of communicative work that goes into making those remittances, those economic transfers happen. But beyond that I wanted to show. And I show in the in the book that language enacts care. Language is something that does itself do care work. It’s a way of maintaining and forging the kind of relational bedrock that is the foundation of all other kinds of care. So that was really important to me to draw that out. That language is not just facilitating other care, but that it is itself a kind of care. And then also, as we know, scholars of language know, language is always making meaning. So as it’s facilitating remittances. And as it’s enacting relational care, language is also a way that people. I used to create meetings about like what kinds of actions, when carried out, by which people count as care and which things don’t count? So all those things are sort of entangled and happening at the same time. So with a communicative care perspective, I was really trying to come up with a theoretical and analytical way to approach that and fully grapple with what was happening with this communication. And the book demonstrates ultimately that communicative care.

This approach really sheds light on how transnational families are able to forge convivencia and live together across borders, through language when they can’t be at the same place for many years at a time.

Hanna Torsh: One of the things that I found really fantastic about reading your work is that the approach you took to data collection, this very inclusive, very participant centered approach to data collection. Could you tell us a bit about how you approached the methodology in your work, and why?

Lynnette Arnold: Sure. And I want to answer this question in a way that will be helpful to emerging scholars who are maybe formulating their first research project or anybody embarking on a new research project. Because, as we know, things often don’t go to plan when we’re doing research. In fact, they often tend not to go to plan but really, if my research had gone to plan, I would not have the book that I have.

So that’s the kind of message here that things can go differently than you imagine, and still be great. So my project started off as a very traditional ethnographic. Sort of like an ethnography of communication. In that tradition I did a lot of participant observation in El Salvador and in the United States with family members, spending time in their homes, eating meals with them, hanging out on the weekends, trying to go to their workplaces, going to their schools. Just kind of spending time understanding what was happening in their lives. And then I conducted interviews with members of families in both countries. And I had that, you know, interview data that I recorded and started to analyze, and, you know, have some other work about narratives that were told in those interviews, for instance.

And then I was planning to do a longer stint in El Salvador of sort of more intensive ethnographic research, and really tracking what was happening. Over an intensive period of time in El Salvador. But then things beyond my control happened. Things got very dangerous in El Salvador. So this was in 2,014 which was a time when there was an intense spike in organized crime and gang violence, especially targeting young people. And there was a whole crisis of unaccompanied minors coming across the Us. Mexico border in relation to this and the area where I do. My research is kind of on a line between the territory of two gangs and got incredibly dangerous.

So my advisor felt like it was really unsafe for me to go back and spend a long time in El Salvador, and she was probably right. So I had to pivot and I decided to pivot to a project that was much more focused on the transnational communication.

So I ended up focusing on the phone calls and deciding to work with two extended families that I had. I knew the most members of and had the deepest relationships to. And I worked with them to record phone calls that they made across borders over a period of 4 months. I based on the interviews I had a sense of from the interviews how much people spent on phone calls per month, and I gave families this kind of stipend per month to cover the costs of the communication during the time that the recording was happening, and then I also hired research assistants in in each family. These were in both cases young people living in the United States because I was able to get to them and train them. So these were young people who were more tech savvy, who were literate and who crucially didn’t have tons of family obligations like they weren’t parents yet and so I was able to go visit them and train them in how to use the recording technology. I used a very, very simple earpiece recorder that you just held the phone up to. I had a little carrying thing for the recorder, so people could still walk around on their cell phones. These were all cell phone calls while having a little MP. 3 recorder on the kind of in their holster

And the family decided amongst themselves which calls to record. And then they didn’t necessarily have to pass all the recordings on to me. They could delete data if they wanted to. I still did delete some things that were passed on to me that I felt, especially when they were pertaining to people’s immigration situation. That I felt like legally, I didn’t want to be responsible for having that information. So I just deleted those recordings.

So that was the sample that I got was the things that families, you know felt okay about me having. And I was still surprised. You know they still felt very from my experience, participating in these networks, very authentic conversations. And there’s conflict. And there’s, you know, disagreements. There are things that happen in these calls. So I I would definitely say it’s not a entirely representative sample in that. Maybe, like the most extreme cases of conflict were not recorded, or whatever but I didn’t get the sense, either, that people were like consistently, always on their best behavior on these phone calls, for instance, it felt like they had. You know they were kind of in the habit of doing this.

Hanna: What did you then do with the with the recordings that you had. How did you go about analyzing that data?

Lynnette Arnold: Yeah. So this is another thing that many of us who do language research, you know, end up with hours and hours of recorded data, and we want to look at it closely, and it gets really overwhelming. So one thing I did that I learned from my undergraduate advisor, Mary Bucholz, was, instead of transcribing all my data. First, st I did a 1st pass of doing what’s called an in what she calls an index, which I think, is a good term. So you’re making a time stamped kind of account of what is happening every minute or so. 30 seconds, depending on how fast moving. The data is in the call, and that is a good way to listen through your data. And just what is in there, what’s happening. Get it in your head right in a way that maybe transcribing especially. This was obviously in the time before AI. But I know now lots of people are using AI to do a 1st pass on transcription. It’s not getting the data in your head in the same way. So working through an index is really good because it makes you start to see the patterns so indexing allowed me to do some qualitative sort of coding of what were some communicative patterns that I started to see what were. Think, what were things that people were doing over and over and over and over again? And decided to focus on transcribing, then, examples of those things that were happening a lot, and you’ll see if you read the book that there’s a chapter about greetings. That’s a thing that happens a lot in these phone calls. And by an example of greetings. There is a chapter about negotiating remittances which is also a thing that’s probably the thing that happens for most of the time.

And then there’s a chapter about remembering in conversations kind of reminiscing in conversations, which was one that I hadn’t, you know. It wasn’t 1 that I went in looking for necessarily but jumped out at me as something really powerful that was happening in these conversations. I was really fortunate.

During my graduate time, when I was collecting and preparing the data to be able to work with undergraduate research assistants. All of whom were Salvador of Salvadoran descent, which meant that they had the linguistic capability to understand this variety of Spanish I think at one time I tried to work with a Mexican descent student, and they were just like this. Spanish is so different from the Spanish that I’m familiar with. I don’t think I can transcribe this accurately. So it was a lovely, lovely opportunity to also extend mentoring towards you know, 1st generation largely Salvadoran American students who were an amazing help for me as well in doing the transcription, and they are all named in my acknowledgements.

Hanna Torsh: Excellent. Yeah, that’s that’s a real challenge for us here in Australia, because we are so linguistically diverse. Having that match with research support in terms of linguistic repertoire.

Lynnette Arnold: And I think even in doing the transcriptions we would meet to talk about the transcriptions. But our conversations would diverge just from the actual transcript. And they would say things like, Oh, my mom. Salvi, mom, this is a thing my mom does all the time. Or, you know, topics of conversations. They were all parts of, you know, transnational families as well. So it was really enriching, not just in the transcriptions, but also in helping me to recognize that what I had in my data was something that was broader than just the two families I was working with.

Hanna Torsh: In your book, you talk about the contradictory ways that digital communication has impacted on the families that you worked with, but also on transnational and cross border family communication generally. So could you tell us a bit about what you found out about these contradictions for your research participants, and any examples that you had would be also fascinating to hear.

Lynnette Arnold: I think there’s kind of a couple of possible answers here. And I think I’ll go with. There’s like a technology answer. And then there’s like a social life answer. And I think we maybe can do both. The technology answers that we often assume that like newer technology, more inclusive, like video technology is better and that people will default to using technologies that are more complete. So if families have access to video calling, they will use video calling, for instance, research with transnational families beyond mine. But just within the field of transnational family research has found that video calling can actually be very emotionally challenging and costly for people to engage in, and that sometimes people dis prefer, even if they have access to videos, that they prefer other forms of communication. So I argue in my work that for these families, phone calls are a real sweet spot. Because they don’t require as mo as much emotional investment. I mean, imagine yourself as a parent or as a family member separated from your loved one for years at a time. You see them on screen, and you see in real time that they’re different than they were when you were there with them. So it’s a real physical visceral reminder of the passing of time that you’re not together. On the phone that is a little bit more held at bay. But you still have the intimacy of somebody’s voice, and you can really hear all of those cues of emotion and all of those things that are so important, especially in the sort of delicate communication that families are doing often on the phone.

Phone calls are also very accessible. So I think that’s another thing to think about in terms of technology is like, and the family is who within the family can use a given technology and phone calls for the families I worked with were maximally inclusive because preliterate children can still talk on the phone and also in the families I worked with elders, and the families were often not literate or had very low literacy levels, and certainly did not have technological literacy to know how to navigate something more complex than a phone call. So phone calls were really a sweet spot, both kind of relationally and what they allowed but also because of their accessibility to everybody within the family. So talk a little bit about that in the book. Why, phone calls in this era of all polymedia. I felt the need to talk about that. It also had to do with the fact that smartphone technology hadn’t really entered El Salvador quite yet. Now it has but I still talk on the phone to my comrade. The mother of my goddaughter in the El Salvador we sell each other voice memos on Whatsapp. So you know again, you see that kind of preference for the voice communication over over video, even though it’s now more possible than it used to be.

And then there’s another answer that has to do with what digital communication affords for these families in terms of their relationships. So as I’ve been talking already, on the one hand, communication is absolutely vital. It’s the way that families are able to live together and sustain their relationships across border. It’s a means of emotional support. It forges the groundwork for this ongoing economic support like remittances. So it’s really positive things for families. But we also know from transnational family scholarship in general that digital communication for families can be really charged. It can lead to people feeling surveilled or micromanaged, especially children and women in families.

In my book, I found that kind of the the negative consequences or effects of digital communication were the ways that it perpetuated divides between migrants and non migrants within families. So if you think about a transnational family, you’ve got this big division of people living in different countries, and the migrants are perceived as those with access to more resources, and the non migrants as those with less access to resources who need help from their migrant. This is kind of a pretty broad generalization that holds for most transnational families, I think.

And what I found in my research was that this divide played out in communication, so that in family conversations there were very different communicative expectations placed on people depending on if they were migrants or non migrants. So, for instance, non migrants needed to learn that when they needed remittances they shouldn’t just ask. They shouldn’t just say, Hey, can you send me 100 bucks?

But they should tell these elaborate stories about family life in El Salvador, in which they would embed conversations of somebody else complaining to somebody else about needing money. So this very like indirect, layered way that people learned a very specific way of doing like a remittance request right?

And then, if you zoom out to think at the kind of macro level. This kind of communication is sustaining and shoring up migration right? It sustains the transnational family form. It keeps the remittances flowing so from a nation perspective, it makes migration succeed as an escape valve, as a means of generating revenue through migrant migrant remittances. Right? So in that those ways, we can see that the communication is really shoring up some inequalities right at the interpersonal and kind of the global level.

Even as it’s a lifeline for these families. So both of those things are true at the same time. And I just want to kind of end by saying it isn’t the case that communication only re in reinscribes inequalities. There are. There are ways in which communication also opens up space for people to resist and create, create new ways of doing things.

Hanna Torsh: Yeah, I’m I’m really keen to hear if you could tell us about some of the participants that you talk about in the book, and some examples of those ways of maybe either kind of perpetuating those inequalities or resisting those inequalities.

Lynnette Arnold: Yeah, I think I’ll go with the resisting examples, because they’re more interesting to me.

Hanna Torsh: Sure.

Lynnette Arnold: So one thing that’s really interesting about digital communication is that it opens up ways for young people to participate in family communication. So some transnational family research shows that young people are actually really get involved in family communication because they have to be the tech. And they’re let the tech help, you know, and then they’re there helping grandma with the laptop or whatever, and then they participate in the conversation. In my families, I found that the kind of a polymedia kind of situation where there were phone calls, but also other kinds of technology happening. Between family members opened up some conflict. So in this one case, some young men were being raised by their grandparents in El Salvador, and their dad was in the United States. He sent them a laptop. They opened Facebook accounts. They started messaging their dad on Facebook. Their grandparents are not literate. Their grandparents are not tech literate. They have no idea like what’s happening when their sons are on the laptop and so the sons use this kind of private channel of communication to complain to their dad about some stuff like teenagers do right.

Hanna Torsh: Yes, I do. Yes.

Lynnette Arnold: As they do and the dad was just hearing from them about this, and so then he called his parents, and, you know, kind of scolded them, taking his son’s word as like you know the truth rather than realizing that it was just kind of one perspective on what was happening. And this resulted in a lot of conflict within the family that then got resolved by multiple phone calls from multiple people, in which people then navigated and kind of smooth things over, and he eventually called and apologized to his mother for not understanding the situation more clearly. But so there there was a case where young people were using technology to kind of have more agency right in what’s going on in the family and try to pressure, you know, put some weight on the scales in terms of things coming out in the way that they wanted it to come out. The other example that I I like to talk about and think about is about gender. So we haven’t talked about gender yet, but it is a theme throughout the book. We know from feminist work that women around the world do the lion’s share of care in pretty much every context you can think of, and that is also true in communication.

I do have cases of men doing amazing communicative care work, a lot of like really touching emotional communication between men. So this is not to say that men are not doing the work. But one thing that I find is that women get asked to do kind of the most onerous tasks. So if a report about oh, the migrants sent money for the cornfield, and there was a flood, and all the corn seedlings died, and we need more money so that we can replant women get asked to have that conversation, even though agriculture isn’t traditionally feminine domain. But they get asked to kind of communicate that information and take on that less pleasant communicative burden. But what I found in some cases was that sometimes women were then using that that they were put in this kind of conduit position to migrants. They were using that to kind of carve out more space for themselves within family decision making. So in one instance, the father in El Salvador had sold one of the family’s cows. He had not consulted with his daughter, his eldest daughter, who lived with him in El Salvador about this decision, and she was kind of mad that he hadn’t consulted with him. But then he this was the same corn example. He needed her to talk to her brother in the United States, his son, and, you know, get some money for the corn so he came over at one night and asked her to do that the next time her brother called to ask him for more money so that they could replant I happened to be there when the brother called, and she didn’t say anything, but instead she told all about the cow, and how her brother had, how her dad had sold the cow without consulting with her, and how it was a poor decision and a waste of the family’s resources and blah blah, and that she should be consulted. So really getting a kind of word into the migrants. And then, when her Dad came back the next day to see what had happened. And what if the money was coming? She was like? Well, I didn’t tell him about it, because, you know, if I’m not consulted on things, I I can’t. You know I can’t communicate. So she really kind of used her. She was in this pivot Lynch kind of PIN position communicatively, and she used that to try to press for a like more decision, making power within the family in these kind of agricultural domains that traditionally, in traditional kind of salvadorange roles would not have been within her purview. So those are the kinds of things, and I think there were more of those things happening than I saw where people were using women especially. We’re using communication to do this kind of torquing in the mechanical sense of gender roles and kind of incrementally shifting things a little bit. So all that’s to say, I think that there are.

There were other ways to in which people were using communication to resist. So I in my, in my account, I wanted to kind of resist. One size fits all characterization of what was happening here, and really capture the complexity of communication as a wonderful lifeline for these families, but also as reproducing inequalities, and also maybe sometimes allowing for resistance, especially to gender them, and generational hierarchies within families.

Hanna Torsh: That’s wonderful. It’s a great example it kind of reminds me of also the the kind of dual role of women in households where they have to do the bulk of the domestic labor, but that also affords them a certain amount of power over some decisions. And so it’s often hard to for them to give it up, because that is then their only power traditionally, in the in those sorts of family situations. So I think that’s a yeah. And it’s really interesting, the way that intersects them with the digital world. And how the same sort of negotiations are taking place. So like, Okay, well, if this is my job, then I am going to try and carve out more agency for myself in a system where I have less agency, you know a patriarchal system. So yeah. Oh, look I I would love to talk more with you, but I am have to jump to my last question. And and and make it really open for you. I I think one of the one of the things that you talk about in your book is how you’re essentially interested in, in, as you say, providing a much more contradictory and nuanced picture of particularly transnational migrants when they have been traditionally particularly, you know, in in public discourse, cast as victims and and and really there’s been a lot of focus on the negative. So I guess I would like to ask you, you know, what? What did you? What are the key? Things that you would really like? The key findings. You would like emerging and established researchers in linguistic diversity and in transnational migrants, to take away from your wonderful book.

Lynnette Arnold: Thank you. I’ll start with a linguistic diversity piece. And I just the I cannot say strongly enough that we cannot. We can’t study linguistic diversity without also be thinking, thinking about what language is doing. So linguistic diversity cannot be separated from the function of language. What people are doing with their communication and the context in which they’re doing those things really shape what linguistic diversity does and what it’s made of. So it’s really vital to think about. One of the main things that people are doing with their communication always is relational. They’re doing relational work of all kinds, with family members, with bosses, with everybody. Right? We’re constantly managing relationships through our language. And so we need to think about that. And also the kind of geopolitical context within which those relationships are playing out. So this may get to your question about language maintenance. Actually, because I wanted to talk here for a little bit about the children of migrants in the United States. So I noticed in my research that the children of migrants in the Us. Were largely excluded from transnational communication.

This was not the case for children in El Salvador, who participated quite actively in and were trained actively trained to participate in the transnational communication, as I show in my chapter on Greetings. That shows how kids learn even before they’re verbal. They’re taught how to do these greetings.

So why does that happen? Well? Linguistic diversity is part of an answer to the question. Relatives in El Salvador tended to perceive the children of migrants in the US as not being Spanish speakers, and therefore they perceived the language barrier that kept them from communicating with grandchildren, nieces, nephews.

Whatever the relationship was, there are, of course, language barrier issues here. There are educational issues at play. Many of the children in the United States did not have access to bilingual education in Spanish and English, and obviously the social dominance of English, certainly reduced Spanish fluency for some, at least, some of the children, but many of the children who were perceived in El Salvador as monolingual English speakers would actually be characterized as bilingual. They just didn’t speak Salvadoran Spanish. They spoke US Spanish, which is a variety of Spanish that has large has been in contact with English right for a long period of time. And so it’s grammar. Its vocabulary is shaped by English and so I think that the unfamiliarity of the children Spanish was perceived by some relatives in El Salvador and this dialect difference was perceived as a as a full on language, barrier, and led to to children being excluded.

So the linguistic causes of children’s kind of exclusion from family communication were really complicated. But it’s also important to recognize that their exclusion from this communication was also influenced by non linguistic, relational and structural issues. So when families envision their future generations down. You know they envision the future of continued emigration, of continuing. So today’s children in El Salvador are tomorrow’s future immigrants. And so it was really essential for children in El Salvador to be heavily socialized into being members of transnational and families to being committed to these cross border relationships, because they would then be the ones to carry those seeds with them. When they traveled the children of migrants are seen as kind of less predictable sustainers of transnational families like well, they just really weren’t sure what was going to happen with these kids.

They weren’t sure they were going to stay committed to the family, so they were less pro. Those relationships were less prioritized in the kind of communicative care work that families were sustaining across borders. The relationship with children in the in the Us. Just wasn’t a priority. Because of this way of thinking about right and this way of understanding their future makes a lot of sense from a geopolitical perspective. It’s heartbreaking.

But I think, unfortunately, realistic reading of the inequitable global distribution of resources, and that for families to get access to those resources. People are gonna have to keep migrating right? So what this example shows us is that the kind of linguistic, the relational, the geopolitical, are all like really tightly entwined with each other. So I just want this example to sort of be a call for us as researchers of linguistic diversity, to be able to think on all of these scales at once, and to think about their interconnections.

And for me, thinking about what language is doing in the world for people. What people are doing with their language is a way to get at that and the lens of care has been a really for me a very capacious lens that has allowed me to think about the relational and interpersonal and the geopolitical kind of within the same framework and their interrelationships. So that’s really my big takeaway for kind of language researchers. Is to think about what language is doing?

I think I have takeaways that are kind of more broad for people living in a global world, which is all of us. Now. And I think I want to especially speak to readers who may not themselves be migrant to listeners right who may not be migrants themselves may not be the children of migrants themselves. And just say that it’s really important for us to understand the lived experiences of migrants. They are so integral to maintaining our societies today. But their lives do not stop at our borders. You know they have connections that go, you know, far beyond what we can see in terms of what we think is happening with migrants and what their lives are like. So this is just kind of a call for all of us to think about, how can we establish relationships with the migrants that are in our communities? And start to think about? You know what’s happening in their lives? Beyond, you know, our immediate communities, our immediate national context.

To think about also the policies and that our governments are passing their foreign policy, their immigration policy, and how that’s affecting lots of people far beyond our national borders through these transnational family connections. So again, that’s kind of going full circle back to where I started of like wanting to educate us citizens about El Salvador. Just to say that there’s so much more that we need to be aware of as you know in thinking about migrants and the roles that they play in the world. And really, yeah, wanted to make sure that they ultimately, I think what I call for my book is that migrants? I want a world where people can have full self determination over how they choose to live as a family. And that is not true for most of us in today’s world. But it is really not true for transnational families. They do not necessarily want to live in 2 different countries for decades at a time, with no chance to visit each other. And so ultimately. That’s where I end. The book is just to say, like, What can we do? How can we work in our own individual ways? For a world in which people have more self determination over care in their own. Of all kinds, including communication.

Hanna Torsh: Oh, thank you so much. I think that’s such an important message and a a great place to finish, a great message to end with. The idea of self-determination for families. And yeah, absolutely reminding us that this we might find all of this very fascinating. But of course, this is not something that any family wants. It’s kind of decade, long separation. And I really love the idea of imploring non migrants to think about migrants, and to that idea of not finishing their lives, not ending at the borders. So yeah, thank you so much.

We’d like to thank you again for talking to us about your work. We will put a link in the blog to the book. Thanks everyone for listening to us today, and if you enjoyed the show, please subscribe to our channel, leave a 5 star review on your podcast app of choice and recommend the language on the move podcast and our partner, the new books network to your students, colleagues and friends. Thanks. Again, Lynette.

Lynnette Arnold: Thank you so much for having me. It’s been a real pleasure to talk to you today.

Hanna Torsh: Thank you until next time.

Hanna Torsh

Author Hanna Torsh

Hanna Torsh is a Lecturer in the Department of Linguistics at Macquarie University, Sydney, where she teaches undergraduate and postgraduate applied linguistics. Her research interests are family language policy, second language learning and teaching, and linguistic diversity in institutional communication. Her first book, "Linguistic Intermarriage in Australia: Between pride and shame," was published by Palgrave Macmillan in 2020. Hanna tweets about her research at @HannaTorsh.

More posts by Hanna Torsh

Join the discussion 74 Comments

  • palak says:

    I can really relate to the challenges of long-distance connections! With my sister in California and my parents in Delhi, the time differences can be tough, especially now that I’m in Australia. We try to make it work through regular video calls, celebrating festivals together, and sharing photos to keep our family bond strong.

    Still, I deeply miss everyone. When I arrived three months ago, it was hard to connect with others here, as everyone was busy with work. I’ve cried a lot and sometimes even regretted my decision. However, my parents and sister have been my support, consoling and motivating me through our calls. It’s amazing how technology helps us feel close, even when we’re far apart.

  • Ruby says:

    As someone who lived away from family for 12 years, I relied heavily on phone calls when I first came to Australia. When video calls became available, it made life much easier. I realise now the frequent phone calls and voice messages were not just about sharing updates, but also about maintaining emotional support. As an only child, my parents worried about me a lot when I was overseas, so a simple voice message every day could bring them relief. The same worked the other way around. These conversations served as a way of showing support and love as Dr. Arnold describes. In a way, language is used as a tool for nurturing relationships, and through these conversations, we create a shared sense of presence.

  • Saga Nygård says:

    For me, my situation of a transnational relationship is with my best friend. We are separated by almost seven and a half thousand miles; seventeen hours of time difference and thirteen plus hour flights. I have only ever seen her twice as traveling is too hard for both of us. I miss her everyday, the ache and emotional turmoil it takes to not be with her, to FaceTime her as Arnold describes, is horrible as it only reminds me how far she is. There is no quick drive to her house, and I can’t spend the weekend with her without cancelling all my plans and travelling for over a day just to say hello. We text daily, send each other memes and read books together online. When it hurts too much we call via FaceTime audio or video call, and just talk for hours. I think if someone was to analyse the data of our phone calls like Arnold did, there would be many pages on the variations of ‘I miss you’ between us; as the feeling stretches long and never-ending. She’s my family, the closest person in my life by far, and I would do literally everything to be with her without an ocean between us.

  • N.S. says:

    Communicative care is a reality in long distance relationships and transnational communication between families. Personally, between work and life, I at times don’t call my parents as often as I should. Living in two different time zones has inevitably affected the timings and frequency at which we communicate. However it’s wonderful how tech has been able to make any distance small. I remember how a friend of mine celebrated her baby’s first birthday over a video call during covid. It was truly wonderful to see the gathering they were able to create through the call. Everyone came well dressed like going to a party in-person, especially the hosts.

    Distance can easily become a hindrance if you let it. Therefore, when living away, it’s all the more important to maintain relationships through regular contact and never let physical distance create mental or emotional distance.

  • Thi Minh Thu Nguyen (June) says:

    Connecting with family and friends is a topic that is closely related to any international student living abroad. From my experience, though the distance obviously makes it harder to keep in touch, staying 10k km away from each other makes me and all of my family members feel more connected. When seeing each other daily or having dinner with the whole four people is no longer possible, we make use of technological tools like Zalo or Imess to make video calls during dinner time, imagining we are home together, given we are in a 3-4 hour gap. It’s as if the physical separation has made us more attentive to our relationships and has highlighted the value of every moment we get to spend together. One of the most noticeable changes has been in my relationship with my father. He has always been a man of few words, preferring to express his love through actions rather than verbal declarations. However, since I moved abroad, he has made a conscious effort to call me every day just to ensure that I am taking care of myself and to hear about my day.

  • Tiramisucake says:

    Somebody said this to me: parents tend to miss their kids more because they stay in the house where everything reminds them of their kids. When I decided to go to Australia for study, my dad reassured my mum that with modern technology, we could still see each other every day, unlike in the past when distance meant losing touch. For me, I stay connected with my family through regular calls, texts, and sharing photos. Even the smallest updates—like making a new dish—become part of how we maintain our bond. It’s incredibly convenient to click a button and feel close, and seeing them through video calls helps me feel reassured, knowing they’re healthy and safe. But at the same time, there’s something irreplaceable about being physically present with loved ones that technology simply can’t match. This distance has deepened my appreciation for the importance of family and the everyday moments we often take for granted.

  • Upu says:

    Staying connected with family across borders is something I relate to deeply, as a migrant living far from home. For me, communication has become a lifeline. We use video calls, WhatsApp, and other social media to bridge the distance and sharing daily updates and moments in my mother tongue Assamese. However, coordinating around the time difference and busy schedule is challenging at times, which often leads to missed calls and delayed conversations. When we do connect, it brings comfort and reassurance, but also a bittersweet longing, especially during cultural festivals that I miss celebrating with them. While modern technology makes it possible to stay in touch, it can never fully replace the warmth and closeness of being together in person with them. Still, these connections are invaluable, helping us maintain our emotional bonds and navigate the challenges of separation, creating a sense of togetherness that spans borders, even if it’s only through a screen.

  • Jeannie says:

    Unlike 50 years ago, going abroad was a big thing among a family, and it was difficult for family members to keep in touch across borders.
    Nowadays, the advance in technology helps us connect with our family and friends without any geographical restrictions. For example, as a Chinese living in Australia, I use WeChat to chat with my parents and friends who are in China. WeChat is an integrated social media platform where we can make calls, text messages and share our daily lives, favorite videos, articles etc. We also can know each other’s status from the circle of friends on WeChat which makes us feel living closely. Therefore, thanks for the development of technology which make it easy for us to connect with each other.
    Further, while AI could do translation for 2nd generation migrants who are born overseas and cannot speak their parents’ languages other than English, I think it is still important for them to become bilingual ones which can help them to build a sense of identity, particular for those young people.

  • Olivia Nguyen says:

    Having good connections with my family and friends around, I find it quite upsetting because I cannot interact with them face-to-face since I moved to Australia. However, thanks to the development of technology, the communication between those international students like me and their families seems easier and more convenient than in the past. I always maintain my relationships with family and friends via social media where we can make video calls and chit-chat about everything. Nevertheless, there is still a time constraint since it is a 4-hour difference between Australia and Vietnam, which causes some difficulties when we feel lonely and need mental support from our beloved ones.

  • Daniela says:

    I would like to start by saying that I had never thought of “Convivencia” as something that you could do online or by distance. This entry made me reflect on how I keep on nurturing my relationship with my parents and sister, who are in Colombia. It has been almost 2 years since I last saw them and hugged them, but I have had the opportunity to listen to their voice growing more mature and changing through time. I can’t even imagine how hard it would be for me not to have a way to communicate whenever I feel lonely. Although maintaining long-distance communication has its benefits, it can never fully replace the closeness and warmth of physical presence. Recently, I experienced the loss of my grandfather, and while I was able to bid him farewell over the phone, it does not feel enough.

  • Mah Grace says:

    Although I have been away from my family in past years due to work travels to Australia, this year has been the longest due to study commitments. This year has also been a tough year for us as a family as two of us, my youngest son and I are in two different countries from the rest of our family members. But even my family members back home are also in different places due to work. My second son lives in Fiji’s capital city, my husband and eldest son in another city where we have our home and my daughter in another town. We communicate with each other on a daily basis either on the family page, which was created by one of my sons, or individually with each other on a social media platform such as messenger, Viber, WhatsApp, or Instagram. For me, these communications are always preferably video calls instead of audio or chats. I always prefer to see the faces of my family members while talking with them. Talking with my family members is something I look forward to daily in the evening. However, the differences in time zone have always caused us problems when at times I would call later in the evening and none of my family members in Fiji would respond as they would be asleep. But we cannot change that to morning calls as that would be midnight for my youngest son in England. Communications is always in the Fijian language although when without my husband, my children and I prefer to communicate in English. Last Saturday was an emotionally painful experience for my son in England and me as we watched the live feeds of my elder sister’s funeral from afar.

  • coconut says:

    I truly appreciate whoever invented and developed the technology to use these days, they deserve a Nobel and great recognition. I remember the past 10-20 years when phones were only for calls and now it has upgraded to have a video call and chat app. In this way, we could stay connected and maintain the relationship but the feeling of ‘convivencia’ might never be fulfilled. After relocating to Sydney, I frequently have video calls with my family and friends. However, I still prefer to meet them in person and wish to fly back to visit them soon. Additionally, my nephew was just born a month after I moved here so I haven’t yet had a chance to meet him, and now I’m afraid if we meet in the next 2 years he won’t remember me. That would be heartbreaking for me.

  • Lisa21 says:

    Thank you for sharing this! As others have pointed out, language plays a crucial role in staying connected with our loved ones back home. For exchange students like myself, who live far from family, it becomes an essential way to maintain contact and make up for what we’re missing, like a comforting hug. While platforms like WhatsApp and other tools help facilitate communication, they can’t fully replace face-to-face conversations, something I realized early on. Despite this, I’m grateful for the experience, as it has shown me who truly supports me, and how love can grow even stronger despite the distance. That’s why I really appreciate the idea of “communicative care” Arnold mentioned, as it perfectly captures how these connections are maintained through communication, even from different parts of the world.

  • Jin says:

    When my son and I decided to come to Sydney 5 years ago, even though my husband couldn’t come with us from Korea, we thought we could reunite as a family in Sydney every three months. Because schools in Sydney have four school holidays a year, we didn’t worry about being physically disconnected from each other for a long time. Unfortunately, just after we arrived in Sydney, the COVID-19 outbreak began, and as a result, my son and I couldn’t meet him in person for almost 2 years.

    However, during that time, thanks to modern technology, we were able to talk and see each other every day through video calls. Sometimes, we even had meals together while connected on video from our respective locations. Despite the lack of physical connection, this kind of virtual meeting made us feel like we were always together. In my opinion, in this era of advanced technology, we can minimize the impact of family separation caused by physical distance.

  • Vioca says:

    Before I share my experiences, I’d like to highlight something specific about the podcast. In Chile, we use the term “convivir” (to live together) not just in a general sense, but also to describe couples who live together without being legally married. This perspective can be viewed differently or even negatively, especially from a Christian standpoint, and I thought it was interesting to mention.

    Now, reflecting on my own experiences connecting with family and friends across borders, I’ve been living abroad for the past eight years, and I truly don’t know what I would do without technology. It’s my primary means of staying in touch with my family back in Chile and friends from different countries. Video calls make a huge difference, allowing me to connect during important events like weddings and birthdays, even if I can’t be there in person.

    I do miss those moments, but my loved ones always find ways to include me. I’m currently navigating a bit of a struggle with my 16-year-old sister. She’s at a challenging age and feels annoyed that I’m not there to talk about her teenage issues. Thankfully, technology helps make our long-distance sisterhood more bearable.

    I’m very close to my parents as well. They consistently show me that distance doesn’t matter when they want to comfort me or offer advice, and I’m truly grateful for that.

  • MJ says:

    Reading the article about living across borders makes me think of my family back in South Korea. Since moving to Sydney, I call my family twice a day. Fortunately, based on summertime, there is a 2 hour time difference between Sydney and South Korea. We always use FaceTime or video calls through KATALk, which is the main SNS platform in South Korea. So, even though there is a 10-hour flight gap between my family and me, frequent communication makes us feel very close. If I miss calling once or twice, it seems to make a distance between us, which is why I try to call every day. We live in different places, but we share our daily lives and emotions simultaneously. The story of living alone far from my family could make me feel isolated, but a call from my family helps me escape that feeling.

  • Whiteflower says:

    I’ve been living away from home for quite some time. I spent six years at boarding school, then moved to a different city during my bachelor’s degree, and even spent six months in India as an overseas volunteer after graduating. So, being far from family has become familiar to me.

    Now, as an international student in Australia, I try my best to stay connected with loved ones. I mostly rely on texting because it’s convenient. I can respond when I’m free, even if we’re in different time zones. Video calls on Line (application) are nice too, but I don’t use them that often. It’s not the same as being there in person, but it’s what works for now. Sometimes, I share little updates on social media just to let everyone know I’m okay. I might not post much, but it feels good to keep those bonds strong, even from a distance.

  • Bahareh says:

    I believe this is a relatable topic for many migrants all over the world. The concept of communicating with family members who live in different parts of the world is not new to me, as some of my aunts and uncles migrated from Iran when I was a child. I remember more than twenty years ago when my cousin migrated, my aunt used to chat with her via Yahoo Messenger. My aunt was very excited about it since, at that time, there were no social media platforms, and it was a very convenient tool for staying in touch with loved ones. I have to say I am proud of her because my aunt was not young at that time, but I am sure that staying connected with her daughter was a big motivation for her to learn the technology.

    If I reflect on my own experience of migration, I believe I have had a different experience compared to those who migrated around ten years ago, mainly because of the presence of social media and the large Iranian community now living here. Of course, being far from family is always challenging, but compared to the days when people needed to write letters and wait many days for a reply, communication today is much easier.

  • jenisha says:

    The article is particularly relevant to international students because, no matter where you live, you cannot completely erase your culture, identity, and people from your past. Language serves as a bridge between people from different countries, but it can occasionally be difficult to maintain because of hectic schedules and misaligned time, which leads to frustration for the majority of students and, ultimately, a sense of loneliness. Since moving to Australia, my sole daily contact with friends, cousins, and other family members is through my parents, if at all feasible. It may sound odd, but I usually chat to them when I’m feeling well. If I’m stressed out or have anything on my mind, I don’t want to talk to them for very long, which stresses out my parents. The best thing is that we communicate in my original tongue, which makes me glad to speak even though I fear I would lose it if I stop.

  • Filza says:

    As an international student in Australia, living away from my husband and family, I really connect with this discussion. I usually rely on snapchat and video calls to stay in touch with my dear ones, which helps a lot but still, I think its tough to live together across borders.
    Transnationally, to feel closer during family events, I get dress up and put on make-up so that I can feel myself there even though virtually. These little efforts makes our connection feel more meaningful, even from afar. It’s a fact that the challenges and emotions that come with long distance relationships cannot be swept away but I appreciate how the technology helps us to maintain our bonds. But I also really feel the weight of missing out on moments together.

  • Ashmita says:

    I have never imagined to live this far away from my family. For me the barriers of geographical boarders is never fulfilled by face time or calling in messenger. However, communication across boarder has been accessible in many parts of world theses days helping to keep connection with the family and friends staying in different countries. Though I am talking to my family members each day in video call, I miss being there with them especially during family functions and festival celebrations. And as my parents are older and living retired life, but whenever I get the news that they are not well, I feel devasted as I can’t be physically present and provide care for them when they are in need. So. for me technology is just an mean to keep in touch with family and friends as it can’t fill the gap of being physically present.

  • Minh Duc Nguyen says:

    During my three years studying for a Bachelor’s at Swinburne and now pursuing a Master’s at Griffith University, Zalo has served as an essential connection to my family. Rooted in Vietnamese culture, Zalo not only facilitates communication but also preserves our cultural identity. Weekly video calls are more than updates; they are exchanges of traditions, like my mother’s cooking guidance in Vietnamese or my father’s motivational words blending English and our native language. However, the linguistic transition between Vietnamese and English occasionally presents challenges, particularly when conveying complex academic concepts. These moments underscore the intricate relationship between language and culture, where communication requires sensitivity to both. Despite the occasional barriers, I believe these calls reinforce a sense of convivencia (a shared experience of “living together” across distances). Such interactions highlight that maintaining relationships across borders is not solely about information exchange but preserving cultural ties and emotional connections amid geographical separation. From my own experience, I have raised a question that I really like discussing with my friends when studying abroad: In a world increasingly connected yet culturally diverse, how can we better navigate the complex interplay between language and culture to foster meaningful cross-border relationships?

  • Liz says:

    Thanks for sharing this article!
    As an international student , staying away from my family has been a challenge for me. Growing up, I was never away from my loved ones—this is my first real separation from them, and it hasn’t been easy. We rely on WhatsApp and video calls to talk almost every day, but the time difference and our hectic schedules often make it hard. Our conversations move between Konkani, Hindi, and English, depending on what we’re talking about—whether it’s sharing our feelings or catching up on life. Speaking in our native languages makes me feel closer to home, even though I’m far away.

    But as much as we talk, something is always missing. You can’t replace the comfort of being with someone in person—a hug, the shared silence, or even just being in the same room. These calls go beyond just catching up; they’re how we show love and keep our bond alive, even when the distance feels overwhelming. The idea of “communicative care” really resonates with me. It’s not just the words we say, but the care behind them that keeps our relationships strong, no matter how far apart we are.

  • Raza says:

    There are very few things which is tougher than staying away from your family. As an international student, I am staying away from my family for more than three months and I haven’t been far away from my family for this long. As I am studying here in Australia, I realised how difficult it is to stay away from my family and friends and from the very first day I arrived, I found very hard to communicate because there is a huge time difference with my country.
    But there are so many technologies that I can use to communicate with my family. Usually I use video call, voice call to communicate with my family and I happen to share my day to day life what I have done and that’s how I stay connected with them. That’s how I feel a bit closer with them and I think technology has helped me a lot in that particular matter.

  • Christina says:

    After listening to the podcast and the reading I can relate strongly to connecting with family and friends across borders. I have a European background, and my grandparents came by ship from Budapest, Hungary in the 50’s and remained in a small country town called Blackall, Queensland. My grandmother was a seamstress and my grandfather was a shoemaker. On my father’s side, his parents came from Croatia but he was born in Linz, Austria and emigrated at the age of 5. Some of his family were scattered to Arequipa, Peru and Argentina at the time due to war. We still have plenty of family over in Hungary, Croatia, now Peru, Argentina and North America. Before the use of phones, and Internet I used to write to my family and cousins overseas as a form of communication. The best part was receiving these beautiful letters and keeping the posted stamps (I have a great stamp collection!!). My grandmother from Budapest used letter writing only as the use of home phones were very expensive at the time. Now it is very easy to use technology as a form of communication but there was nothing better than waiting and receiving those handwritten letters.

    I am in a place where we are currently going through this long-distance connection and communication across the border. I am grateful we have this technology (i.e. Whatsapp Video), so that I and my young daughter is able to speak to her dad in Lima, Peru. It makes it a little easier keeping this strong relationship and connection as a family unit until our visa issue can be sorted out in the background.

  • solar says:

    It’s a really thought-evoking podcast and I can resonate with many examples by Lynnette Arnold. One of them was a preference for phone calls over video calls. I have an aunt who has been living in San Francisco for more than 15 years. My mom and I tend to focus less on a deep conversation through video calls. As Lynnette mentions, the feeling that we have been separated for a long time and we are not the ones that we used to be each other makes us feel quite distracted, and sometimes detached. So my mom likes to talk to her on the phone in order to focus on delicate emotions that she can detect and she tends to have a longer conversation this way compared to video calls. I guess voices might have an quality to better transmit subtle emotions so people are likely to feel more connected and experience a sense of “communicative care” better.

  • UY says:

    After listening to the podcast, I want to reflect on my experiences connecting with family across borders. Like the examples shared, I communicate with my family in Mongolia primarily through Facebook Messenger, video calls, and free calls using my Australian SIM card. These technologies allow us to maintain a sense of togetherness, despite the distance. The podcast emphasized how communication is crucial for emotional ties, and I’ve found this to be true. For instance, I share daily moments of my life, similar to the experiences discussed where individuals leverage technology to have agency in their family dynamics. I also understand the emotional weight of these connections, as even a missed call can lead to anxiety. Ultimately, I believe that regular communication is vital in long-distance relationships, echoing the podcast’s insights on the significance of linguistic and relational work in sustaining bonds across borders.

  • Sahrul (Rul) says:

    As an international student living in Australia, I can relate myself with this topic. I still feel like I am a part of my family in Indonesia. We still talk and share news almost every day. I can also see how communication also served as an act of caring itself. My mother still talks a lot about my siblings there and how they are doing. I also regularly share with her about my activities and what I eat for the day.
    However, while there are newer technologies like video calls exist, I still prefer to text them and occasionally send pictures. I guess as Lynnette mentioned, video calls might require more emotional investment and personally, I can’t do it on a daily basis.

  • Thi Ngoc Tram Vu (Tracy) says:

    First of all, thank you so much Professor for sharing the interesting article about the story of Dr Hanna and her background. It reminds me of the Covid 19 pandemic when every activity was restricted due to the long period of quarantine in almost all countries throughout the world. In the beginning, my friends and I found it really hard to do projects together and as we work as tutors, it was really challenging for us to continue our job when we could not meet each other as well as our students. It was hard to teach the students as we get used to in-class sessions. Nevertheless, with the rapid development of technology, many online meeting platforms have been introduced such as Zooms, Teams, and Webex with the high security, our job and team work activities seem to be much easier, even than the time before the pandemic. Thanks to that, we had more time for preparing the lessons insteads of traveling time, and arrange our schedules to work together and even had more students than before. As a result, our working efficiency had improved a lot during the lock-out. I, therefore, reckon that communication across borders now has become much more convenient no matter where you are and whom you talk with in this modern age if we know how to take advantage of the technology.

  • Jake says:

    To be honest, I felt completely lost when I first arrived in Australia. I transitioned from a busy professional life surrounded by extended family to a new reality with no career and no support network, just my husband and our little child in a pram. While my husband worked every day, I stayed home to care for our son, which was a challenging adjustment.

    But I’m grateful to live in an age of advanced technology that keeps us connected with our loved ones, allowing us to see each other whenever we want. I can’t imagine how my mom managed to stay in touch with my dad while he studied in Russia. Yet, despite these technological conveniences, it never feels like enough. There’s something irreplaceable about seeing loved ones face-to-face and sharing emotions in person.

    Since moving here, I’ve found myself talking to my friends, family, and siblings less and less. It’s a shame how relationships can drift apart over time. They have little understanding of what life is like for me here, and I find myself less interested in their lives back home. Now, I talk on the phone with my mom, my siblings and close friends just every couple of weeks, and I miss the deeper connections we once had.

  • eun says:

    Thanks to the little time difference between Korea and Australia, keeping in touch with my family is easier. However, when I was busy for a few weeks and could only message, I felt the gap when I finally called them, missing ‘convivencia’. Since then, I’ve made it a point to stay in touch through video calls and group chats, even if nothing major happens, because it maintains a sense of connection. Unlike the families in Dr. Arnold’s study, I actually prefer video calls. Being able to show my surroundings and see theirs helps me feel more connected. However, I’ve also experienced the isolation of being away, like the time I was on the phone while my family went on a trip without me, or when I missed out on hearing about important events and catched up afterwards. To overcome this physical distance, I think it’s very important to share small details because it’s a form of communicative care, vital for maintaining close bonds.

  • ihs says:

    There is no doubt that connecting with family and friends nowadays is more easier than it was. After I arrived to Australia to study, I realized how hard it is to be away from my family and friends, and from the first day I arrived, I used different communicative technology tools like messaging, voice calls, and video calls to keep in touch with my family and friends, sending them pictures and hearing their voice. I think having these various tools and platforms is a blessing for all of us. however, even when I call or message them every day I still feel that it is not a real connection especially when texting each other because messages can sometimes misunderstood.
    Reading some of the comments shows me how technology and social media helped a lot of people to stay in touch with their friends and families, sharing all the lovely moments and reducing homesickness, even a little.

  • Fenghua Xian says:

    As said in the book, because I came to Australia to study, there is a certain time difference with my home, so sometimes I always have to calculate the time to call my parents. Thanks to the development of science and technology, communication has become very convenient, but at the same time, many young people around me, including myself, may prefer to send text messages rather than video calls. But for people who haven’t seen each other for a long time, it’s nice to be able to make a video call and see personal changes through video. And then there’s the good thing about young people being involved in family communication through technology. In fact, it is the same in my country, when many elderly people do not understand electronic technology, the appearance of a grandson or granddaughter makes them feel like God, often accompanied by the appearance of praise.

  • Viviana Rodriguez says:

    I find this article interesting because I also did not know about Dr Hanna’s background. I have seen that nowadays many young migrant parents from first and second generations prefer not to teach them their monther tongue to their children which I see overwhelming! I have some friends who are born here in Australia around my age 30+ whose parents did not teach them their language, I believe this happends because they did not want to expose their children to bad news or in the situation their home country is/was, e.g. Afghanistan or Chile during Pinochet times, etc. I also have parents my age, from other backgrounds, who talk to their kids only in English. In my own case, If I ever have kids I would never educate them only in one language or only in English, as they would lose most of my traditions and culture along with the language. My bf is from Egypt and he is back in Egypt now, my whole family resides in Mexico and I have a couple of cousins living in Canada and USA, however, all my family members are born in Mexico and my very close friends and bf in their respective countries, all of us are at least bilingual, which makes them to have a richer and more comprehensive perspective of any topic, are very respectful toward other’s opinions, more open minded and a broader horizon of the things, which is also important. What do I want to say with this? Than a language is not only about communication but also understanding of life with different points of view. I enjoy much Sydney, because for the first time I have got to know all the linguistics diversities in one place, their pros and cons in the society, people’s behaviours and preferences, communication styles and, more important, I have found myself and who I really am.

    Just as a small comment, I have noticed the book reads ” Salvadoran”, on the paragraph that the book is mentioned says “Salvadorean” and also when refers to people. However, I did not find “Salvadorean” in the dictionary but “Salvadorian”. Is it that may be somewhat an archaic word form or Australian spelling? Sometimes it is a bit confusing to me to see this varied ways of spelling in the same text as an non-native English speaker, but I completely understand the meaning.

    Thank you for reading.

  • Thanh Hien Le (Jasmine) says:

    This topic reminds me of the challenging time during COVID. In 2019, I left my home country Vietnam, to start University in Australia. In 2019 I made many friends, travelled to many places and enjoyed the campus learning experience. Little did anyone know what the year 2020 and beyond would be like from the impact of COVID-19. I was not prepared for the effects of COVID. I recommenced my 2nd year of University in 2020, excited to embark on many possibilities and looking forward to making new friends. However, all the excitement for 2020 had ended abruptly and the University had to move to online learning and many exchange students were told to return to their home countries. Restrictions made it hard to go outside and it was difficult to socialize and made me feel lonely.
    However, I decided to be creative and created a sense of normality by having frequent Zoom conversations with my family and friends. Zoom was a wonderful technology. Using Zoom, I was able to connect with all my family and friends coming together from different parts of the world. I was also able to connect with my friends living outside of Australia and we were able to have a group conversation once in a while. Connection with people gave me motivation and reason to keep continuing my University studies instead of taking a year break like other students have done.

  • Lamia says:

    Communication is one key aspect of maintaining strong relationships. As time passes, technology has enhanced in many ways and allowed us to communicate with our loved ones even if we are miles away. However, as an international student, I still find it difficult no matter how many times I video call my family, it’s still hard to express certain emotions. For example, if I were with my family physically talking to them then they would understand certain emotions better maybe by looking at the gestures or facial expressions. But even though we see each other in video calls those emotions cannot be communicated properly or understood. Therefore, no matter how much technology enhances there will always be a gap between that physical presence and emotions.

  • Robinson says:

    My idea of ‘my family’ has always been my immediate family, consisting of myself and my parents, and the three of us have lived in Australia since I was born. I have a sizeable extended family on my mother’s side who live in England, though myself and my dad have always viewed this family as being ‘my mum’s family’ rather than ‘our family’ as such. I have never visited my mum’s family, though I have met my grandparents, aunts and uncles when they visited Australia when I was young. I also have a sister who is much older than me who I have only met once. My mum has frequent Whatsapp calls with our family in England, and I do sometimes participate in these calls, but mainly just to say hello. My mum recently travelled to England to visit family; during this time I used Whatsapp to keep in touch.

  • Hai Yen Le says:

    The reading reminds me of my grandmother’s journey, who migrated from Vietnam to Australia by boat in the 1970s. She used to tell me that communication networks at that time were rare and difficult to access. Once she and her children arrived in Australia, getting in touch with family back in Vietnam was nearly impossible. In those circumstances, the only thing she could do was wait for updates from the government. Whenever I hear this story, I feel incredibly grateful for how much technology has evolved. Today, I am able to connect with my family daily through a small screen and by one click, and the distance of half a world away feels much shorter. Cross-border conversations have made it possible for my family, who are living in two different countries and cultures, to still feel united. Now, I can share with my parents the stories of my country’s culture and language that I have become a part of. Sometimes, I also teach my parents some simple words and sentences which help them fall into the foreign language. They not only get to experience the culture of another country alongside me, but also gain knowledge and confidence knowing that I am navigating this new life on my own in a foreign land.

  • WT says:

    Thank you for sharing this stories. Since I came to study in Australia, the first thing that I worried about was homesickness. However, technology can greatly reduce that feeling, as using video calls to talk to my family has become part of my daily routine. We use it to share stories about our daily lives and update each other. It helps my family and I stay connected across borders. It doesn’t just enable communication, but it also helps us maintain our family bonds and makes it seem like we are close to each other. This is because we can see each other’s faces every day, making it feel like we’re not far apart. Additionally, this topic reminded me of one of my experiences, last year when my grandpa had a serious illness and passed away suddenly. Some of my family members who were overseas couldn’t visit and say goodbye to him for the last time. However, technology helped fill this gap, as we used video calls to give them the chance to talk and say their goodbyes to our grandpa in time. As a result, I believe that beyond helping to connect and maintain strong relationships, technology can also support people in difficult times, as in the story I mentioned above.

  • Eliza says:

    This article really hit home for me, especially as an international student living far from my family. It’s tough relying on video calls and messages when what you really want is to be there in person. Recently, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage one endometrial cancer, and she had to break the news to us through a video call. What’s even harder is that she kept it from us for two months, worried that if we found out while we were still in the Philippines, I might have stopped my studies to be with her.

    Just like the story in the article, where families are separated by migration despite staying in touch, I feel that same distance. My husband and I make sure to call her every day, but it’s still not enough. We feel like we’re falling short in caring for her because we can’t physically be there. It’s comforting to hear her voice and check in on her, but as the article suggests, words, while meaningful, can’t always capture what’s really happening or fill the emotional gaps.

    This reflection on “communicative care” resonates with me so much. Staying connected through calls is important, but it never truly replaces being there with family, especially during tough times like this. It’s a reminder of how migration challenges us, not just in starting a new life but in staying close to the ones we love.

    • This is hard. Hope your mother-in-law gets well again soon and makes a full recovery!

      • Lynnette Arnold says:

        I’m so glad these ideas resonate for you. I actually found in my research that it is quite common for relatives in both sides to withhold information they think might worry their distant relatives. In this way, not talking about worrisome topics can be intended as a form of care (though it may not be received as such).

  • NIMS says:

    I can relate to this topic with my whole heart. As a homesick person, I was never comfortable being far from home for any reason. And after moving abroad, this feeling didn’t change. It feels like a constant battle with myself to figure out everything all by myself because my family can not do anything directly for me. The highest they can do is advise me. Also, another thing I observed while living in a different country from my parents is that the emotion is never the same between us. When I used to live in my home, if my mother was sick the whole family used to worry about it plus all of our emotions used to be related to this. But when I am far from home, I travel in my free time or I go to a beautiful place and I video call my parents but they are not in the mood to see a beautiful place that I am enjoying. But living in the same place we used to go on tours where everyone used to be in a mood of enjoying a vacation or a place. That is why I think technology can never take the place of human emotions we feel every day.

  • Rei says:

    The emotional challenges of living in another country have a connection to the theory of communicative care. Lately technology has provided people with means of instant communication, but it can also deepen emotional distress. For instance, as a new international student living in Australia, I find it unusually hard to celebrate significant events, such as my birthday or holidays, without my immediate family in Indonesia. Although I do try to connect with them and jointly celebrate these moments via an online video call, it often feels bitter-sweet for me. This situation is often overwhelming and complicates my adaptation. In such situations, I usually try to contact friends I met at church or with other international students to share my feelings. A wider social support network seems to be a key to improving emotional life of a person.

  • T Pham (Jill) says:

    Reading the article about living across borders made me reflect deeply on my own journey as an international student. Being away from my family has been challenging, but what keeps us close is the effort we put into staying connected. Calls, texts, and video chats are more than just routine—they’re our way of showing love and emotional support. Those moments of communication, no matter how brief, remind me that despite the distance, we’re still part of each other’s lives. It’s a constant reminder that family bonds can transcend physical separation.

    Being in another country, I sometimes feel isolated, but when I hear my family’s voices, it’s like a bridge that instantly brings us closer. Whether it’s sharing something that happened in my day or hearing about small details from home, it gives me a sense of belonging. In a way, these interactions are what keep me grounded, helping me stay emotionally connected, even when I’m worlds away. The idea of “communicative care” perfectly captures this dynamic—communication isn’t just practical, it’s an act of love and care.

    • Lynnette Arnold says:

      Absolutely! This is definitely something that many transnational families experience and why many of those I worked with preferred phone calls to video calls – it maintains a little distance and maybe makes the conversation less painful. You can imagine your loved one is maybe just a few blocks away rather than so many miles.

  • Erin says:

    Communicating with others across borders has become much easier compared to the past. My family had lived in different countries. I was in Canada, my father was in Brazil, and mom was in Korea. Whenever we talked on the phone, we tried to share as many as possible and thank for everything even tiny things. I strongly believe that communication with the phone made me endure living alone in a foreign country. It was very important to make me feel bonded. However, emails and phone calls have restrictions. It sometimes felt like emails and phone calls were just giving information because we could not do something together and there was no shared experience. Also, physical distance could not be overcome when I heard of my grandmom’s funeral over the phone. That was the hard part.

  • Jaspreet kaur says:

    Thank you for sharing your article. Yeah, nowadays, technology plays a crucial role in everyone’s life. I want to share my thoughts with you on everyday communication as a long distance relationship. When i lived with my family (India) i never get separated from them even for hours also. But, after moving to Australia, in starting i really faced this thing and I always on the call or video call with my parents. On video call i always think that I’m with my parents. I talked my parents everyday. Even after, I attended a lot of family functions on video calls and captured everything on screen recording as a memory. When i used to do video calls with my parents on daily basis i never now feel that i am far from my parents or family members.
    Apart from that, I’m in touched with my friends also. And once in a month do group call with that as well as shared everything what happened and what’s going on in our life. Really technology makes my relationship very healthy.

  • HV says:

    Communication across borders has been made easy but is fraught with its challenges. My family lives divided between 3 countries, and 6 cities. We have a common whatsapp group and it is a pleasure to communicate 24/7, posting recipes, achievements shared, photos of daily activities, or a random discussion on politics or sport. However, as Dr Arnold points out it is emotionally draining sometimes. Two instances come to mind, my father pocket dialled me by accident, and I could hear him talk to someone of scan results, surgery, medical emergency, but I had no idea what was happening and the phone disconnected. Despite repeated calls, my father did not pick the phone. I knew something was wrong but had no details, until I managed to reach him and realised my mother had a kidney stone. Similarly, I was involved in a motor accident and my eye was punched by the air bag. I video call my parents every other day and when I avoided video calls for a couple of weeks, they got suspicious. I didn’t want to tell them of the accident lest they get worried. The point is that the availability of instant communication has its disadvantages and advantages. They don’t say lightly that “Ignorance is bliss”.

  • MI says:

    These days, people can easily keep in touch with their family and friends across borders thanks to modern technology. However, even if the technology has developed, there are some people who struggle to use it, like my mother. She does not have her own smart phone and PC, so we have not talked to each other through apps since I moved to Australia. Whenever I recommend her a smart phone, she always refuses my suggestion because of age. Fortunately, she manages to use her old mobile phone (flip phone) and send me email, so I am able to check on her well-being occasionally. However, if her current mobile is broken, she could not buy a new one by herself. Therefore, I always hope her mobile keeps working until the day I go back to my country.

  • Nga Dao (Nia) says:

    Before studying abroad, my family and I bonded by spending quality time together. However, now living 4,823 miles away, like many international students, I rely on social media to maintain those connections with my family back in Vietnam. With the 4-hour time difference between the two countries, we usually call on Facebook at 11 p.m. Sydney time—just as I’m about to sleep. Since it’s not a video call, we can’t see each other’s body language or gestures, making it harder to connect deeply with my parents and little brother. During our calls, I’ve noticed that we are more careful with our words and tend to avoid discussing anything unhappy or any struggles we’re facing, as we don’t want to worry each other. Even though our calls sometimes last only five minutes, each one feels like a good night wish, reminding me of how strong our bond is.

  • Solyn says:

    I often rely on Kakaotalk to stay connected with my friends and family in Korea. I try to bridge the distance with my family through regular video calls. Sharing stories and supporting each other reminds me of how important it is to stay connected.

    However, daylight savings has made it harder to keep in touch with my family. The time difference went from 1 hour to 2, and it’s not just the extra hour—our entire daily schedules feel out of sync. In Korea, where staying up late is common, the 2-hour gap with Australia, where the day ends earlier, feels significant. By 9 PM, when I’m going to bed, my family is just finishing work at 7 PM. I hesitate to call them, and when they want to reach me, I’m already asleep. Honestly, daylight savings has made staying connected even more challenging.

  • DM says:

    Dear Ingrid,

    Thanks to the advancement of technology, nowadays I can connect with my family members and friends not only by letter and phone call, but also by video call. Additionally, the cost of international flight has been dropped a lot compared with a few centuries ago. International flight is more affordable now. I am very happy to let you know that my brother and my parents will be visiting me in Sydney in December!!!!!!!

    I am glad I have spent my whole childhood in Hong Kong, I can speak fluent Cantonese. I am lucky I am not deprived from effective communication with my family like the US migrants in the article. In my spare time, I would watch and read news and listen to podcast about news in Hong Kong and around the world. My family and I, we would have video call twice a month. Apart from greeting and sharing latest updates with each other, I would share about my point of views of the development of Hong Kong and verify with them as a topic to talk to them. For my best friends in Hong Kong and other places, we would exchange meme and funny videos on Instagram. Sharing reels and memes is regarded as a latest way of communication with friends nowadays.

    I am grateful that with the aid of technology, the bonding between my family and I is getting stronger and stronger.

    DM

  • Tan Loc Thuan Nguyen says:

    Despite the rapid development of communicative technologies, I still have a strong longing for a physical presence and connection. I often find it hard to describe the cultural and systematical differences between countries. This issue sometimes leads to miscommunication and conflict between us. For example, I can’t find a proper way to explain how hard it is to get access to specialised medical services like neurology and pathology in Australia. They believe that the Australian health care system is “better”, and since we have easier access to these services at home, they conclude that I will be able to access specialised health services better, which is not true from my experience! I feel that I would be able to explain it better if they were with me here to experience the amount of complications I have to get through to get access to those services.

  • Laura says:

    When I first moved to Australia, I used to call my friends and family from public payphones as it was too expensive to call from a landline or mobile phone. The length of conversations would vary depending on the prepaid phone cards I would buy, but we were always on a time limit. The calls occurred about once a week and these moments were very precious to me and my loved ones. Once the VoIP service ‘Skype’ emerged, we were able to call each other whenever we wanted to and speak for an unlimited time. The communication software undoubtedly helped us maintain our close relationship and feel more connected. I would always use my L1 to communicate with my relatives but over time, I would naturally switch to English whenever I was struggling remembering certain words in my first language.

  • Mammoth says:

    I feel very lucky because online media is very advanced nowadays. I can chat with my friends who are far away from me in the UK through Instagram, and I can also see what they post on it about their lives, which may be a big meal they cooked tonight, or a trip to the beach for swimming and fishing, or some unlucky things that happened. I can also Facetime my parents to let them know what’s going on with me. I’ve recently fallen in love with baking, and when I make my basque cakes, cupcakes, and berry cakes, I’m able to share them with my friends and family right away, and even though the responses are just a few words or voice-overs, I still feel the emotional value and companionship that they bring to the table. It makes me feel like they are right next to me and we are not far away. Although we’re not in the same country and there’s even a time difference, thanks to these Apps, we can be involved in each other’s lives, and it makes my study abroad life feel less lonely.

  • YW says:

    Connecting with family and friends across borders has become very convenient these days. We can connect with people online anytime and anywhere. I often use the LINE application to chat or make video calls with my family and friends in Thailand. Additionally, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram allow us to stay updated on each other’s lives. Even though we don’t talk every day, these tools help me stay connected by sharing meals, photos of daily activities, or even making video calls. We can update each other almost instantly, which helps to ease the feeling of homesickness. While we may not be physically together, these technologies help me feel closer to my loved ones, virtually bridging the distance.

  • Jaye says:

    This topic resonates with me as I eagerly wanted to find ways to live together despite being separated across borders. I immigrated to New Zealand with my de facto partner. Before our migration, we dated for five years and were regarded as a family. However, things changed due to the border closure caused by the COVID-19 outbreak during my stay in my home country. Amid this abnormal situation, we underwent different experiences. In particular, as we were both in early career stages, our lives rapidly transformed. We could not fully share our new experience via FaceTime due to the time zone difference and the unstable network sometimes. The relationship gradually fell apart as we could not understand each other in the end. Although my case was a failure, I still desire to know if we could do better, as it was my lifelong struggle.

  • little_amie2701 says:

    I think communication across borders become much more accessible than we were before. In the past, when my parents and I travelled overseas, the first thing that my parents did was find that country’s SIM card, which was available to call back to Vietnam. But now, they just have access to airport wifi and use a Vietnamese communication platform named Zalo to contact families and relatives in Vietnam. However, this way is just useful for my parents’ generation and below, those people who belong to the older generation, like my grandparents, cannot use Zalo, so calling overseas is still necessary.

    For me, on one hand, communication platforms are more convenient for keeping in contact. I can keep in touch with most of my high school friends, who are studying and working in different countries thanks to social media. On the other hand, it cannot replace face-to-face interaction. My parents and I share the same passion for food, so when we were in Vietnam, we often sought out good restaurants, enjoyed ourselves together and shared our opinions about the food. But when I come here, when I meet good food in Australia, even though I still can tell them about how it tastes, they cannot actually feel it and vice versa.

    But in my opinion, it depends on the relationship. Like if you don’t like someone, even though you meet that person daily face-to-face, you don’t even bother talk to them. On the contrary, if that person is someone you are comfortable with, distance is not a big deal and just communicating through social platform give you a sense of connection.

  • XZM says:

    After reading this article, I want to share my thoughts on long-distance relationships. I strongly agree with the theory of “everyday communication” mentioned in the article. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years. When I came to Australia to pursue my master’s degree, he accepted it. However, when I completed my MBA and wanted to continue studying for a master’s in translation, he hesitated but ultimately supported me. We communicate daily through WeChat, sharing moments like pictures of my breakfast or emojis when I finish class. Over the past two years, I’ve grown accustomed to sharing every detail of my life with him, even during disagreements. Once, I was so busy that I didn’t talk to him for half a day, and he became anxious. Therefore, I believe that frequent communication is essential in long-distance relationships. For couples in similar situations, staying connected is crucial, as language truly helps maintain emotional ties.

    • Thanks for sharing your story! It’s quite amazing how communication platforms like WeChat and WhatsApp etc. have made long-distance sharing of mundane life possible, like having breakfast ‘together-apart’ …

  • Adiba says:

    My own individual way is that I talk to my parents through video calls who are in Khulna, Bangladesh daily. As a Bangladeshi living in Australia, far from family, maintaining international family ties has become a very important part of my life. Even though I live with my husband here and talk to him in Bangla but talking to my family through technology hit different. Even though I am missing out lots of family events and I know the gap can not be bridged with technology but it still helps me a lot. I can see the videos or picture, call them whenever I want. While migration pushes us apart, communicative care through language and technology maintains our relationships.

  • Rei says:

    After reviewing the Legal Aid NSW website in search of the Indonesian language resources, it is clear that while a certain effort has been undertaken to provide information in more than one language, the availability of the legal content in Indonesian seems to be at a very basic level. While information is indeed accessible, the shallow content and difficult navigation make it harder for Indonesia-speaking community to access essential legal services, placing them at greater risk of exploitation or being unable to defend their rights. This gap in accessibility highlights the broader issue of marginalization and unequal access to justice for non-English-speaking communities. To address this, Legal Aid NSW should prioritize expanding its Indonesian-language resources to cover specific legal topics, such as family law and immigration, in greater depth. Additionally, improving the platform’s user-friendliness and offering multilingual legal helplines or community outreach programs would greatly benefit Indonesian speakers.

  • Wow! What a huge and increasingly important question in the Conclusion, among several others;
    “How do we global northerners establish relationships with migrants who are living in our communities?”

    In regard to issues non-tech raised in this outstanding and moving account have things changed much, or actually worsened, since a generation ago when the research presented here was put together on such crucial matters as the different branches of Spanish and other linguistic and socio-economic divides appertaining to all countries in which colonial languages are foisted onto First Nations and other similarly disadvantaged groups? Where to start in a scenario in which the bilingual researcher has command of little Spanish, where the village teacher of English can hardly speak it, where power politics between El Salvador and the USA is a work in progress between politicians and big business, where the pain of separation is affecting all concerned – in Lynette’s honest account from intro to close?

    In the final analysis her research hinges on the input provided by two literate, tech-savvy individuals in which their self-censoring and filtering prevails in the face of such overwhelming and long lasting obstacles. We esperantists proffer an inexpensive solution easily embedded quickly (with or without the help of Zuckerberg, Musk and so on) as transpired a couple of months ago in Tanzania when about a thousand of us, mostly from other parts of Africa but also from scores of countries elsewhere, overcame the language divide in a continent largely TRIBAL, i.e. in a scenario even more difficult that what’s afflicting Latin America, IMO.

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